Friday, December 20, 2013

Time won't give me time...

I haven't touched this blog in half a year.

A lot has changed since then, or it's possible that nothing has changed at all. Your guess is as good as mine.

I decided it was best in the long-run for me to leave Austin and come back to Atlanta; the city I wanted to leave for most of my life. Austin was such a fun place to live. It just wasn't... home? I really wanted it to be, though. For what it's worth, I can't say that Atlanta really feels like home a lot of the time, but it is where I am, and most likely, where I will continue to be for a long time to come (although, let's face it; I am not very stable sometimes when it comes to this stuff). There are times when I daydream about buying a house, putting down some roots... that would be nice, but for now, it seems a bit unattainable.

The plus sides of being back here? It's great to be able to see my family more, especially my brother's children. No more booking a flight to come back for birthday parties, and no stressing myself out with trying to see my friends while coming out over a weekend. I was also very happy to be able to experience Autumn again, since that didn't really happen in Austin. The health issues I experienced while living in Austin have cleared up quite a bit, but who knows if that is a product of this new (rather, recycled) environment.

The downsides... I wish this list were much shorter than the one above, but so far, it isn't. At least it isn't substantially longer, though. My job is stressful and annoying. I miss my coworkers, the building, and the much more laid-back attitude that came with my former job. My larger salary doesn't do any good when everything here is more expensive, either, so I have started trying to bring in extra money here and there. The financial hit I took over the past 2 years hasn't done wonders for my self-esteem or general mood sometimes, so I'm doing my best to build it all back up, slowly but, hopefully, surely. I've had to re-learn how to be much more self-sufficient, since I'm no longer a partner in a team, but maybe having to remember how to fend for yourself isn't such a bad thing (though I wouldn't mind someone doing all the grocery shopping and cooking).

Overall, I feel like I am doing better in general. A little anxiety here and there (see: here), but I'm pretty happy for the most of it. I have a lot of love in my heart, and I am hopeful about what's to come. Important lessons have been learned, and now I can take steps to be a stronger person because of it.

All I know is that I've made it this far, so I suppose I can make it a little further.